self-expression for the self-strong

conflict

It’s Not Personal

Conflict isn’t personal. It’s not about you.

In any given scenario, any person in the world could fill your shoes and do or say what you did or said. And if the other people involved had the same opinion of and emotional investment in that person as they do you, the event would replay itself exactly.

What happened may be your responsibility, in full or in part. You may have made a legitimate mistake.

But conflict is not about who you are. It is about what happened.

You as a person are not being attacked. Only your actions or words are being called into question.

The reverse is also true. How you react to other people in conflict is not about who they are. You are responding to the silhouette shaped by their actions or words and filled with the emotional import you place in that person.

Don’t take it personally – it’s not about you.